Against The Current

The river was cold the water was rough and I paddled the best that I could to cut through the thick of things.  For some reason I was in a fog most of the day.  It was my hope that the rowing would calm me down.  As I reached the middle of the river I noticed water seeping into my kayak.  There was a hole in my kayak and there was nothing that I could to about it except paddle.  In an impossibly short distance and time the kayak was full of water along with the weight of the full boat dipping one end of the oar caused the kayak to spin dumping me into the water.  For some reason I didn’t bring a lifejacket with me luckily I kept a flotation square to sit on.  I put my hands through the loops and started to swim.  The rough water fought against itself catching me in the middle making swimming almost impossible.  My mind was clear but I felt the enormity of the situation with the realization that I would drown if I didn’t make way quickly.  I was caught in the middle of the river and there was nothing but water with the current pulling me in.  The realization of drowning was real, I told myself to stay calm and tread.  I swam for an uncountable amount of time in impossible conditions and my legs and arms were cold and I felt the strain along with the weakness that accompanied fatigue.  The floatation device was wrapped around my arm fastened toward my back.  I shifted it to test it’s buoyancy and luckily it held my weight and I floated for a while resting and paddling with one arm.  I hoped that I would survive and not die a fool’s death in a river alone to be found a blue bloated body as a headline in the news.  A few things popped into thought while I waiting for feeling to creep back into my tired limbs.  The first odd thought was a group of voices laughing and the vision of some sort of parallel to my grandfather who survived horrific battles while serving in the pacific during Pearl Harbor.  I swam like dog and I felt like one cold and shivering and I should have been weeping because I was scared.  Then I felt like a turd in a toilet bowl waiting to be flushed.  Floating down the river I felt the tingling and burning sensation returning to my limbs that usually happens after being frozen then warming up.  Soon I shifted the floatation pad toward my back and I started to swim again.  I gritted my teeth redoubling my efforts deciding that I would fight being flushed, that I would be a floater, a remnant, a smudge or some other turd reference in defiance of dying that day.  The river took me a very long distance with a lot of swimming with little movement but I did finally feel something solid under my feet.  When I reached the riverbank I maintained a solid composure as I said my thanks for surviving.  Looking around I noticed that there was nothing but open land except for a large box that was used to hold a lawn mover.  At that moment a group of ducks flew overhead then I reached for the keys in my pocket and began to walk.